More information about therapy services
My approach to marriage counselling starts with authentic connection. Such connection based on empathy and mutual respect. My work as a therapist is founded on the awareness and practice of wisdom. My style is open, receptive and client-led. My intention is to create a space of safety and support… a place where you can share your inner world and outer experience in a way that is not subject to any judgement, diagnosis or interpretation.
For me, and hopefully, for my clients, therapy is an alliance of trust and mutual transference of that trust. I will support your inner journey through a process of discovery, repair, empowerment, alternative approaches and finally a sense of togetherness and sustainable mutuality. Ultimately the therapeutic relationship will seek to challenge your self-restricting and self-defeating patterns and support new possibilities.
This process often leads to profound insights about past behaviour and how that manifests in the present… How strategies you once applied with great success are no longer effective for you and how you may wish to explore new strategies to add to your strengths and resources. This insight is not just cognitive but has a deep emotional component which can lead to a connection to your very essence. The therapeutic relationship can take on a life of its own that is both vibrant, spontaneous and healing.
My approach to therapy seeks to empower you to either cast aside or recalibrate emotional and behavioural patterns that have become restrictive. As Viktor Frankl suggests that “between the stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” Hence, the goal of therapy is to help you discover that space, choose your response and begin to embrace new possibilities for growth and change.
Resolve sexual difficulties within yourself and your relationship
Learn how much sex is normal and healthy for your relationship
Experience more passion and pleasure during sex
Communicate with your partner about sex without conflict and arguments
Make sex and intimacy a priority in your busy life schedule
Become more sexually compatible with your partner
Reduce performance anxiety
Explore what works best for you and ask for what you want
Work with a therapist who embraces gender, sexual and relationship diversity
Feel confident in your sex life and have more fun
I provide psychosexual therapy to both couples and individuals and have extensive training and experience in sexual medicine, including the physiological processes of human sexuality, sexual response cycles and assessment of many sexual difficulties. I also cooperate closely with physicians and physical therapists to offer a comprehensive treatment plan.
Psychosexual therapy is a form of talk therapy counselling, with a focus on the emotional causes of sexual dysfunction. We explore your sexual history in a relational context and seek to develop and apply strategies and solutions to overcome the difficulty. While the focus is on sexual dysfunction, we also explore how this may be impacting other issues, both within and outside the relationship.
I’m aware that gender, sexual and relationship diversity is much more than just the LGBTQIA label. While it’s very important for a therapist to embrace sexual identity and diverse sexual and relationship practices, I don’t believe that this should necessarily become the entire focus of treatment. While I am well-educated and experienced with gender, sexual and relationship diversity, including kink and polyamory, my focus is always on treating the whole person and the relationship between two individuals.
Inter-faith/Inter Cultural Marriage Counselling
Do you believe in God?
Several years ago a new client arranged a free consultation with me. Normally this involves a brief discussion about what has brought the person to counselling and sometimes a few questions about my approach and qualifications. However, in this case, my potential client said: “I only have one question for you….Do you believe in God?”. I had never encountered this question before from a new client, so I answered truthfully saying; “Yes, I do believe in God, but probably not in the same context that you do.” He went on to say that the context or religion was not important and all that mattered is that I had a belief.
Inter-faith and Inter-cultural
This was to be the first of many cases involving interfaith marriage. Since that time I have worked with couples of many faiths and combinations of faiths, including Christian (Catholic, Protestant & Mormon), Jewish (Reform & Orthodox), Muslim (Sunni and Shia), Hindu, Sikh and Buddhist. I have also worked with couples where one is atheist, agnostic or spiritual, but not associated with any religion and the other is aligned with religious faith. In addition to matters of faith, I often encounter intercultural couples, who are dealing with different cultural rather than faith issues. Of course, often the situation is a complex mixture of all of the above.
Marriages between people of different faiths and cultures are becoming increasingly common. I’ve seen figures that suggest between 30-40% of all marriages are interfaith or intercultural. These couples share the same issues as any other couple navigating the complex roadmap of a relationship. However, they also face an extra layer of issues, especially around sexuality, raising children, household responsibilities, celebrating holidays, diet, family traditions, just to name a few. I am deeply familiar and respectful of all of these issues and how each faith or culture approaches them. I’m also aware of how important it is for interfaith and intercultural couples to seek help to work through and resolve how you can draw on these qualities to enrich your life together.
You can create a family that embraces more than one faith or culture
It takes a deep and respectful understanding of your partner’s faith and/or culture and how that is different from your own. You certainly each need to be exposed to the other’s faith and/or culture through family and friends, but that is only the start. Sometimes it seems, especially early on in the relationship, that the interfaith or intercultural differences are less important than the love and commitment you share. However, that can change over time as you come to see that these differences are much more significant than you first imagined. Whether you are at the start of your journey or much further along, I can help you to discern and appreciate the spiritual and cultural strengths you each bring to the relationship. I can also help you to learn effective problem solving and coping strategies in a non-judgemental, safe and supportive environment.
You are not alone! Many couples have struggled with interfaith and intercultural marriage and resolved the challenges to experience a successful, intimate family relationship. It is possible to create a home and family that embraces more than one faith and culture. Let me show you how.
Pre-marital counselling is probably the last thing in your order of priorities as you plan for your big day. But before I explain why I think it should be the number one priority, let me congratulate you on finding the person you want to commit to on your life journey.
This is an exciting time for you, but it’s also a very stressful time. You can quickly move from feeling united in love to feeling disconnected with arguments and tension increasing. Don’t worry, this is perfectly normal and given the pressures of planning the wedding and associated major life changes, something you can expect to happen.
Give yourself and your marriage the gift of a secure foundation
The main thing to keep in mind is that your relationship, your ‘we’, is the important element in all of this and it’s far more important that the details of the wedding. The greatest gift you can give yourself when starting out together is the gift of a strong and secure base. I’ve listed the many benefits to pre-marital counselling in the box on the right, and as you can see, this work will enhance the chances of you staying married by over 30%. That is a remarkable statistic and one to take to heart.
Make pre-marital counselling your first priority
So while pre-marital counselling is probably the last thing you want to invest in or make time for, please consider the major life-changing significance of getting married, and to ask yourself if can you really afford not to make pre-marital counselling your first priority? There is little point in ensuring that the wedding event goes off perfectly and you enjoy a magical honeymoon if the foundation is not stable…If the marriage is not built on a secure base, nothing else will matter.
If you are still reading this then I am assuming that you really value the marriage commitment you are making and that you want to ensure that it is a lifelong success. Let’s work together and give your marriage an exceptional head-start with a brief and highly effective package of pre-marital counselling!